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Mongol Derby 2014 Medics Blog - Mongolian Stool Chart

As you can tell the Mongol Derby is nearing the end and Medic 1 appears to have some time on their hands...

And so out of two initial euphemisms from Medic 1, a whole new terminology has developed with the crew and riders of the 2014 Mongol Derby. With necessity apparently being the mother of invention, a new language has emerged, enabling riders to cheerily and accurately communicate the most delicate of details to both fellow riders, and to us in those legendary and usually graphic pre dinner consultations. Riders, we salute you.

Mongolian Stool Chart


Context / Additional Information





Opening bowels

“I’m going for a quick download”


Preparing to open bowels

*gurgle* “oh no, I think I’m buffering”

Dial up




Bowels normal

Not so solid

Super fibre optic


Positively liquid...




404 Page not found

No toilet roll

“It’s a 404 – take your own”

Site found

Facilities [short drop]

[Don’t look down]

Site not found

No facilities

[Crouch and pretend to be a vulture...]

Copyright Low/Swann 2014.